I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I look better un-naked...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
