this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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