im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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