i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just google imaged poop.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
