just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
sex in a hospital.. check
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
