The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
