i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize