I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
did you just send me my own nude
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
