He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
