a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
