Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize