that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
