Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize