By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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