how can u be prego again
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
