Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
