There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So apparently I’m into choking now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
