it hurts more in the daytime
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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