FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I need moral support for this bender
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
