question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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