We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
