ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
