I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
