Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
