If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
and you fell through a lawn chair
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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