I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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