Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
