Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We have started to decorate penises.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
