Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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