I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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