Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
