all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
