If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
