I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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