is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
