I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
