Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize