Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
