You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
