If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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