This is not my ceiling
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
