were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
