Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
