I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
