How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
