After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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