watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize