NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
