my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Come see our sink grown plant.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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