I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
