That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
