Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Randomize
