I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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