Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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