You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
