K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
