Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
