i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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