i was born a porn star she said
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
