Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
