So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
