omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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