At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
