For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
