Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
