STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
