I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
