At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
