that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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