She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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